December 10, 2011

Income Property: Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore


No official description available. My description: Scott is awesome and Alice is a crazy bitch.
Available on HGTV.com


This is Alice and her daughter Cindy, who recently moved out. Cindy seems fine, but Alice is a crazy bitch. More on that later. 

Now that Cindy has moved out, Alice wants to renovate and rent out the main floor and second floor of the Victorian home she purchased 15 years ago for $200,000, making $1,000 a month mortgage payments. The house already has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and laundry.



Can my hot Canadian fix this place up? Nope. This episode ends after four minutes. 

Of course he can. He already has two options for Alice and Cindy.



Option #1 fixes the place up quickly so they can get it rented out as soon as possible. Instead of doing major renovations, they're just going to upgrade what's already there and paint the floors instead of totally replacing them. This renovations costs $15,000 and would bring in $1,400 in rent a month.



Option #2 involves way more. They'll replace the floors, redo the entire upstairs bathroom, and make the entire top floor a master suite. This renovations costs $30,000 and will bring in $1,800 a month.

Alice and Cindy choose #2. I don't know why Cindy gets a vote; it's not her money.

The teams starts ripping out the dry wall, the bathroom, the floors, and everything else, pretty much.


I really want one of these big ass screwdrivers, but I'm fairly certain I would wind up somehow killing myself with it. And unless it comes with an allen wrench attachment, it's not really gonna help me put together my ikea furniture.


Alice has a bunch of annoying questions and Scott, as my grandma would say, has the patience of a saint. 


All is going well until Alice sees the color of the flooring. I don't know why it's so objectionable, but that's because I'm a rational human being. Alice freaks out and throws a tantrum.


"Stop it here. I've got to digest this. Two things you are disappointing me. One is the color." She never says what the second thing is. Scott explains that he got the darker color - which isn't even that dark - to go with the kitchen cabinets and countertops, but Alice don't care; Alice don't give a shit.


Since only a few floor boards had been lain, Scott decides to appease Alice and put down lighter hardwood floors. I would have just told Alice to sit and spin, but that's why it's better that I'm not on TV.


It's the day of the appraisal and reveal and Scott gets a call from his office and is told that Alice refuses to show up. In the words of Stephanie Tanner, how rude. 


Scott decides to just do the reveal with the appraiser. The appraiser probably wasn't expecting to be put in the middle of some petulant asshole's conniption, but such is the life a Canadian real estate appraiser. 






The apartment looks really nice, though the darker wood floors would have looked better than the lighter wood. The appraiser says that the house is now worth between $600,000 and $700,000. You're welcome, Alice.


Oh, um, so Alice still lives here. All that work and having to deal with dumbass Alice and she's not even going to rent out the space? Scott should tell her to kiss his grits.

10 comments:

  1. What a great episode. :oP You see a ton of self-absorbed people in HGTV shows, but not always as blatantly as this one. :o)

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  2. I would love to have been a fly on the wall at Scott's office when they were talking to Alice. NOW I get why the other contractors weren't able to finish the space.

    Ick pick. HGTV should do a 'Holmes on Homeowners' and visit the nightmare clients!

    Alice. I was disappointed in you. For two things. You don't get to know what they are.

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    1. LMAO (You don't get to know what they are).

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  3. I would love to have been a fly on the wall at Scott's office when they were talking to Alice. NOW I get why the other contractors weren't able to finish the space.

    Ick pick. HGTV should do a 'Holmes on Homeowners' and visit the nightmare clients!

    Check this out: http://www.thestar.com/business/2010/04/13/homeowner_says_noise_spoiled_her_renovation.html

    Scott explained why the layers of wood were needed. She is twisting everything out of proportion to get a 'refund' in my opinion.

    Alice. I was disappointed in you. For two things. You don't get to know what they are.

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    1. Wow, I didn't know she tried to file a complaint against the show for the work they did. I seriously doubt HGTV would be that negligent because they would face lawsuits and they wouldn't be able to continue with the show if there were enough complaints against Scott. Thanks for sharing that link!

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    2. Wow. Where do you begin? "She says the hardwood floor above her was not installed properly and the noise gives her migraine headaches." (riiight) "...there was a pre-existing noise issue in the 100-year-old home’s floor and Tsoi ignored advice on how to fix it." (Now that I believe!) "She demanded soundproofing between the joints... which she was not prepared to pay for.” (believe that too).

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  4. Sometimes, I think HGTV deliberately recruits and casts homeowner a-holes for their shows.

    She acted like a petulant child and was a real hag. I wanted to reach through the TV and slap her to sleep. Ungrateful people chafe my hindquarters. What a heifer.

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  5. Wow, she definitely has mental issues. I once knew someone like her, and she did have mental issues. They are almost exactly alike. They want something from someone and then stomp their feet when they get it. I know, that doesn't make sense, but in the mental person's mind, they don't understand how you cannot understand that. "What is wrong with you?!!"

    But as a side point, when she said that those were 2 things now that Scott was disappointing her on and she clearly said the one thing... the color, I know what the second thing was. It was because he was using the wrong color in an "engineered" wood. She wanted a lighter color in real hardwood floor. You know that's what she was upset about because Scott stressed later when he showed the light floor that it was real hardwood floor.

    Anyway, I felt really bad for Scott at that moment, when she was freaking out on him, and also when after doing what she wanted with the floors, she still didn't want to show up for the reveal. What a crazy crazy person! I would be mad at her for being so ungrateful, but I don't know if it's that she's a spoiled brat or if it's because she is really truly mentally ill. If she's truly mental, then getting mad at her won't do anything, it won't change her, or get her to smarten up.

    Seeing as he greatly increased the value of her home, there wouldn't be a court in all of Canada that would side with crazy.

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  6. This is awesome! I've been trying to do some bathroom renovation , and this gave me some great insight for things to try. Thanks for sharing!

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  7. had she stuck with the original engineered hardwood and underlay, designed for condos, her sound issue would have been am non issue. Her ignorance and refusal to comply was fully documented in HD.

    no wonder only one reporter took up the story and no lawyers would take on the case under consignment.

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