September 15, 2013

House Hunters: See My Vest

Description: Megan is looking for her first home in Boulder, CO.
Available on Hulu

So today's house hunter is 28-year-old Megan.

She moved to Boulder from Sacramento nine months ago and she owns upwards of three vests. She also owns two cats and a bird and I think it's really jerky to own birds. If something has the ability to fly, why are you gonna lock it in a cage?

Megan loves Boulder. She says, "I feel that my personality was made to flourish somewhere like Boulder," which I think means she's a hippie.

And this vest isn't disproving what I just wrote. Helping her with her house hunt is her friend Laura. 

Megan's realtor is Summer Youngs, and that has to be a fake name, right? I got a call at work recently from a guy in a southern state who had an Indian accent and he said his name was Dennis O'Brien and I was like, "Dude, your name is not Dennis O'Brien." I'm a Mc, so I know from O's. But if I were an Indian guy living in the south, I would probably change my name too.

Anyway, Megan qualified for Boulder's affordable housing program, which means she gets a discount on certain housing and that property is guaranteed to have one to three percent annuity each year. 

Megan's wish list includes: 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom, room for a dining table, and in-unit laundry for $90,000-$110,000. Ideally she would like to be near downtown.

On a fashion note, if it's warm enough for short shorts, it's too warm for a knit scarf. And if it's cold enough for a knit scarf, it's too cold for short shorts.

Of course Megan is the kind of person who would hug her realtor. I understand hugging your friends, but your realtor? Come on, let's be professional, Megan.

Anyway, house #1 is a 1 bed 1 bath 740 square foot condo close to downtown for $105,000. 

The entry way opens to the kitchen to the left and the living room in front. Megan likes the amount of natural light.

Laura points out the countertops are laminate and that granite would be nicer and Megan agrees. I guess even hippies want granite. Frankly, I don't know why anyone would expect granite for $105,000.

Laura's concerned that there isn't enough room for a dining table and then Megan starts describing how she could use a pub table instead of a full size table and she's using the sort of voice you would use if you were describing something elaborate that not everyone will understand and not, you know, a table. Laura says that Megan is a designer so she'll figure it out, but based on her outfits I don't have too much faith in Megan's design skills.

The bedroom is another rectangular room with the same non-descript walls and carpeting. Megan's concerned about the size of the room because she wantes to upgrade her bed to queen size. You can totally fit a queen size bed in that room.

There's a washer and dryer and walk-in closet in the bedroom and Laura says of the three doors in the hallway, "you kind of have to plan how you close your doors." I guess, if for some reason you had to have all three doors open at once.

The one bathroom in the apartment is in the bedroom, which I would hate because then you would have to clean your bedroom whenever you had guests over.

House #2 is a 740 square foot 1 bed 1.5 bath condo in northern Boulder for $111,000. The condos are still under construction, so they check out a model unit.

And I'm totally turning into my mom because I thought, "Be careful, there's no railing."

The laundry and half bath are right at the front door.

The kitchen is off the front hallway and open to the living room. Once finished, this kitchen will also have proletariat laminate countertops. 

Summer points out the "contemporary windows" and Megan responds that they're "a fun little feature." Is Megan using fun to mean ugly, because that's the only word that makes sense. Seriously, builders, that's dumb-looking. 

The entire window situation in the living room is tragic. These windows would drive me nuts.

There's a view of the mountains from the balcony off the living room and the window in the bedroom.

Boulder really has a thing for non-descript rectangular rooms. This is the bedroom, which does not have crazy windows.

There's an en-suite full bathroom.

Megan likes the apartment even though it's not in the downtown location she wanted. Megan says northern Boulder is "a little slower paced than downtown."

Yeah, that does seem pretty fast paced and energetic and not at all like Disney World's main street.

House #3 is a 1 bed 1 bath 600 square foot condo for $112,000 near downtown Boulder.

This apartment has neighbors on both sides and above and below. Personally, I would not live in an apartment that has a front door that opens directly to the outside. Especially in a cold location and especially if you own a cat. 

Is Megan wearing a romper? Lord.

Whoever lives here has terrible furniture. And why would you put the couch on the shortest wall in the living room?!

The kitchen is small, but Megan and Laura like the cabinets and countertops.

The bathroom is off the hallway to the bedroom, so people won't have to go through the bedroom to get to the bathroom.

Megan likes that the bedroom is large and has plenty of room for a queen size bed. I can understand wanting a big bedroom if you have roommates. No matter how much you love your roommates, you still need a space of your own. But if you're living by yourself, who cares? You've got the whole place to yourself.

Megan and Laura discuss the condos they've just seen. House #1 gets lots of light and has an in-unit washer and dryer, but it's pretty close to the University of Colorado. House #2 is brand new and has a nice view of the mountains, but it's not in the downtown location Megan wanted. House #3 has a big bedroom but no in-unit washer and dryer.

Megan chooses house #1.

And she seems to have based her bedroom color scheme on her vests. And I must add, that bedding does not go with those walls at all.


  1. You seriously make me laugh so hard! I just squandered my child's entire nap time reading your blog. I also had HH and HHI on in the background and saw two eps I would love you to do.
    #1- "Buying a home in Hawaii" with Paul and Gary. The realtor says not to worry about the lava because their house would catch fire before the lava hit it. Her outfits are pretty stunning, too.

  2. cut me off. Also, Cyclist looks for home in Detroit. Two words - Bike Room

    1. Thanks for the episode info! I actually got rid of my cable a few months ago (which is kind of ironic given what I blog about), so I can only recap episodes that are available online, but I will look for those episodes. And I'm glad you enjoy the blog!

  3. I snort-laughed at "proletariat laminate". Indeed. All these hippies that don't perceive the irony/hypocrisy inherent in riding bikes/fretting aboyt carbon footprint/eating local and organic and yet there they are wanting to use the bones of the earth for their countertops. HGTV helps people look foolish everyday. So amusing.